Fear of Change

Fear of change is a human trait. We like our comfort zones and tend to have to be forced into making a change by external circumstances. John and Emily are a good example of this. They had lived in the same home for over twenty years. It certainly wasn’t their ideal property; they complained regularly but year after year they put up with all they disliked about their house and its environment. In spite of their dissatisfaction, they never fully considered moving until they were faced with external circumstances that necessitated a move. Both John and Emily fiercely resisted the forced move every step of the way; however, after the move they wished they had chosen to move years earlier because their lives were enhanced by the change.

And so we cling to our comfort zone – even if that comfort zone is not very comfortable or appropriate – for fear of the unknown. This is embodied in the saying “better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know”. And it does of course make a huge assumption that making a change will mean an encounter with yet another ‘devil’, when it fact it could be a huge blessing.

Since change will occur anyway, it is wise to consider ‘voluntary’ change – making a change in one’s life without any external triggers or drivers. Dreams are that sort of potential change. Our dreams provide us with the vision... and then there’s the personal mind chatter – our own in-built naysayer. The naysayers are strong on telling us how difficult it will be to fulfill the vision.

It’s as if there are two people – the one who wants to have these wonderful changes, and the frightened other who points out all the reasons why it would be better to keep to the status quo. The first person is the ‘real’ you – the person you are at your core unencumbered by fear. The second is your Inner Critic or Gremlin – usually built up over a period of time taking on the rules, fears, and excuses of other people.

So, can you work with these two versions of yourself and overcome your fears? In order to bring about change it really is worth working on the WHAT for a long time until what you want to change gets absolutely clear. You need to be able to envision a day in your changed life; see it in your mind’s eye, smell the smells, taste the tastes, sense the movements, hear the sounds as you see yourself living the change.

If you are dreaming of making a change in your life, try taking this first step. Spend some time envisioning – and enjoy the experience.

There is a physiological reason for focusing on the ‘what’ in this way. You are building up a new neurological pathway in your brain – a ‘gestalt’ or picture which your mind can accept as real. This will help you move towards this change and not fall back to the status quo. Only when you are fully clear about the ‘what’ of the change, should you even start to think about the ‘how’. This means being strong even though the Inner Critic or Gremlin voice constantly intervenes and gives you advice as to why not, or what to watch out for, or how difficult and painful it is going to be.

And what about the change process itself? How you perceive or anticipate it, will invoke the self-fulfilling prophecy. It is so easy to run the story of what ‘might’ happen – and very often this results in you taking no action. Fear once again raises its head. So how about seeing change as an adventure? It makes a good metaphor. Like any adventure, you should not set out unprepared. Getting prepared for the change that you have clearly envisioned helps to give credence to the shift you are preparing to make.

So, as we look at change, realizing that fear is present is a good thing. Excitement and fear are very closely allied in our spectrum of emotions – why else would white-knuckle rides at the amusement park be so popular? If you have decided to undertake your own white-knuckle ride, remember:

1. Do some self-awareness work first so that you are able to approach your desired change from a place of personal strength.

2. Spend time envisioning where your white-knuckle ride is taking you. And here the analogy ends: it should not be bringing you back to the start of your journey!

3. Look at making your change as if it were an adventure. No matter what type of adventure you choose to use as your metaphor, it is inevitable that you will need help, you will need allies, you will need to anticipate some of the terrain . . . and you will do the journey one step at a time, perhaps even setting up base camps along the way.

4. Determine what your first step or two will be — do not try to figure out the ‘how’ of your final destination.

5. Feel all your emotions so they will move through you rather than pull you down or hold you back.

6. Set out – yes with some trepidation – but also with the joy of the journey ahead and continue moving forward one step at a time.

by Lynn Hull And Julie Molner
Source: www.isnare.com

Fashion as a Passion

Fashion has always been the biggest interest of human being. Especially for women, it has become a passion to be fashionable and good-looking; and in the same way, they’ve become shopaholics. So, there’s an important question, what’s the real aim of this fashion storm in the world? Is it just for women to feel better and look good? No, I don’t think so...

Every year, the style of dress is changing and it’s becoming impossible to keep pace with it. The designers are struggling for being the most different one. Sometimes, they exaggerate so much that they create clothes that can’t be worn in normal life. For them, it’s not important whether these clothes can protect us against the cold, it’s only the apperance that make them sold. However, some mads of fashion buy them just because they are “in” and they seem funny when wear them...

Consequently, nowadays, fashion is only a tool for exploiting the women who desire to look beautiful. No matter how the product are expensive or unnecessary, they just buy and make the people who work in the area of fashion rich. Is the situation same for men? Well, maybe in the past, it wasn’t but I think, even if they condemn the women, men are becoming more and more addicted to the fashion day by day...

by Merve Sağıroğlu

A Dream Within A Dream

Take this kiss upon the brow!

And, in parting from you now,

Thus much let me avow--

You are not wrong, who deem

That my days have been a dream;

Yet if hope has flown away

In a night, or in a day,

In a vision, or in none,

Is it therefore the less gone?

All that we see or seem

Is but a dream within a dream...

***

I stand amid the roar

Of a surf-tormented shore,

And I hold within my hand

Grains of the golden sand--

How few! yet how they creep

Through my fingers to the deep,

While I weep--while I weep!

O God! Can I not grasp

Them with a tighter clasp?

O God! Can I not save

One from the pitiless wave?

Is all that we see or seem

But a dream within a dream?

Edgar Allan Poe

New Forms of Intercultural Communication in a Globalized World

Communication is the basic concept in explaining globalization. Globalization can be observed as the worldwide expansion of a functionally differentiated European society through intercultural communication.

In this society, since the 17th century, intercultural communication has assumed the form of a modernist ethnocentrism based on values such as knowledge, pluralism and individualism.

During the 20th century, historical changes created the necessity for new forms of intercultural communication.In the last decade of that century, a transcultural form of communication based on dialogue was proposed as a basis for cross-cultural adaptation, a creation of multicultural identities and a construction of a hybrid multicultural society.

However, this transcultural form creates paradoxes and difficulties in intercultural communication, mixing the preservation of cultural difference with the search for synthesis.

Consequently, a new form of intercultural dialogue, dealing with incommensurable differences and managing conflicts, is needed to create coordination among different cultural perspectives.

Claudio Baraldi,
University of Modena and Reggio Emilia
- SAGE Journals Online -

Turn Off TV, Turn On Life!

In modern society, there are some technological devices that make life easier and more enjoyable for us. They provide us a priority in this information age. However, generally, they have some negative effects on us. Television is the only one of these devices.

With the invention of television in 1920s, people started to explore the magic effect of it. As it was rare and expensive, T.V was seen as a luxury, an unattainable thing. However, year by year, as the life standards increased, it became much more easier to get. Thus, it spread quickly and became popular especially among the families. It turned out to be a mattter of competition, namely, which family had a more sophisticated T.V was a concern of matter.

This “dizzy device”, in a short time, has captured our daily lives. We’ve no more had something more enjoyable to do, but watching T.V. In the begining, it was so fantastic to witness the other people’s lives. We started to throw all the tasks together and spend more and more times in front of T.V. We had no longer visitors and nice chattings at nights; instead, we preferred watching the studied adventures of fake people on T.V. While these happened, we omitted the real life activities and even missed witnessing the growing our children. Nevertheless, it was too late to notice that we had become volunteers to be slaves of T.V.

What can be done? What is the best things to do to get rid of T.V’s harms to us and next generations? How can we expel it from our daily lives? Is it possible to live in a society without T.V or are we strong-willed enough to give it up? No, I don’t think so, it’s nearly impossible to live without them. However, we can give it a try to reduce the hours we wasted. Well, then, what about going and turning off your T.V, and turning on your life?...

by Merve Sağıroğlu

LITTLE WHITE LIES

Have you ever lied? Do not say “No, never!” I won’t believe in you because you lie even while saying “No!”... Lying is a bad thing; however, it’s sometimes necessary. What matters is the reason that makes you tell a lie.

Everybody tells at least a lie in his/her life. In our daily life, there are lots of people who lie to us and whom we lie to. For example, salespeople, friends, teachers, siblings, parents, etc. Even sometimes, we lie to ourselves! So, do you think this means that we are bad people? No, not always.

Sometimes, you lie just because you need to. This kind of lies are called “white lies”. In some situations, if you don’t lie, may be somebody will be hurt. For example, your child drew a picture. It doesn’ t look like anything but you say, “Oh, it’s wonderful! Well done, honey...” Yes, you’ ve lied but this little white lie has encouraged your child and made him/her happy.

Sometimes, you disregard the truths - or lie to yourself. Because you want to feel good. This may be a good idea when you are sad or hopeless. However, you should not be hooked on it too much. It’s similar to the daydreaming. I’ll give a simple example: Think that you want to go on a holiday but have no chance to save enough money for it. You crave for it and you are sure that it will come true one day. So, you are making preparations for holiday. You ‘re buying a swimsuit, sun-cream or looking at the advertisements to find a good hotel. Well, you’re just cheating yourself. Do not dive into the deep, you may be drowned in the swimming pool of that hotel. Yet, who knows, may be one day you find yourself while sunbathing on the side of the that pool...

To sum up, neither you nor the others must be given damage because of your lies. Sometimes, it may be useful to tell a lie – but just for simple things. Do not make it a habit of you. Anyway, how could we cope with this liar world without telling lies? We should play the game according to its rules...

by Merve Sağıroğlu

Educational Quotes

The Broken Pot

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.

At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you. I have been able to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house. Because of my flaws, you have to do a lot of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you've watered them.

For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."

Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding...

Source: The Feel Good Page

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling

Ordinary People Doing Extraordinary Things

The American Dream: Is It Real?

The American Dream is a belief which refers to all citizens and immigrants in the U.S.A. will get the freedom and achieve their goals in life one day. According to this concept, this achievement can only be got by those who believe in themselves. They have to work hard to get whatever they want: a good job and career, wealth, health, prestige, a happy family, a big house, a luxurious car, even not only “one”, as many as possible... However, I suppose that the American Dream is just an utopic belief which was made up to attract people and to make the “land of opportunity” the most powerful country by using the physical and mental power of these people.

Although it has been losing its popularity and validity nowadays, the American Dream has been one of the most discussed topics. The term “American Dream” was first used by James Truslow Adams in his book The Epic of America which was written in 1931. He says, “The American Dream is that dream of a land in which life should be better and richer and fuller for everyone, with opportunity for each according to ability or achievement.” Famous people such as Martin Luther King and Malcolm X stated their ideas about this belief. The American Dream has also been the theme of books such as Death of a Salesman (Arthur Miller) , Ordinary People (Judith Guest) , Of Mice and Men (John Steinbeck) etc. and films such as American Beauty etc.

According to the information provided by the IOM (International Organization of Migration) , every year, 1.1 million people leave their homelands and migrate to U.S.A. with the expectation of a better life. Those who are lucky and educated survive if they can find a job but those who can’t find a job are likely to share the same destiny with 750,000 homeless in the U.S.A.

There are several reasons why the American Dream is not real. Firstly, as the people generally try to become rich by easy ways, instead, they become disappointed when they are required to work very hard to compete with the others not lose their jobs. Secondly, some people who migrate have difficulties in adapting to a new country so they may feel alone and regret migrating. And finally, as the U.S.A. has some social, economical and political problems, especially for the last decade, citizens and immigrants become unhappy in this country.

To sum up, besides some opportunities, there are lots of difficulties in living in the U.S.A. Not everything is the same as it seems. If you consider living in the U.S.A., I advise you to think one more time. Otherwise, it becomes too late when you’ve realized that it’s not a dream; indeed, it’s really a nightmare…

by Merve Sağıroğlu

The Old Man and the Butterfly

Once upon a time in a land far far away. There was a wonderful old man who loved everything. Animals, spiders, insects ...

One day while walking through the woods the nice old man found a cocoon.

Feeling lonely he decided to take the cocoon home to watch its beautiful transformation from a funny little cocoon to a beautiful butterfly.

He gently placed the cocoon on his kitchen table, and watched over it for days

Suddenly on the seventh day the cocoon started to move. It moved frantically! The old man felt sorry for the little butterfly inside the cocoon. He watched it struggle and struggle and struggle!

Finally the old man feeling so sorry for the cocooned butterfly rushed to its aide with a surgical scalpel and gently slit the cocoon so the butterfly could emerge.

Just one slice was all it took, and the butterfly broke free from its cocoon only to wilt over in a completely motionless state.

The old man did not know what to think. Had he accidentally killed the little butterfly? No, its still moving a little bit.! Maybe its sick!

Who the heck would know? He was dumbfounded, and quite perplexed! What should I do, he said. Well he felt so sorry for the little creature that he decided the best thing he could do for the butterfly was to place it gently back into its cocoon.

He did so, and placed a drop of honey on it to seal the cocoon, leaving the butterfly to nestle in its natural state.

Well the next day he noticed that the cocoon was moving again. Wow, he said! It moved and moved and struggled and struggled. Finally the butterfly broke free from its cocoon and stretched its wings out far and wide. Big time yawn! Its beautiful wings were filled with wonderful colors! It looked around and took off! It was flying! Its so beautiful! The old man was jumping with joy! Wow!

Go Baby, Go! And that wonderful butterfly did that just that, it flew and flew till it was almost out of the old mans sight. What a joy, he exclaimed!

But then he started to think. What did I do wrong by trying to help that beautiful little butterfly out at first?

The old man went into town. Found the library, and read every book he could on butterflies and cocoons.

Finally the answer appeared. The butterfly has to struggle and struggle while inside the cocoon. That's how it gets its strength. That's just what they are designed to overcome in order to be strong and beautiful.

Well needless to say the old man was shocked, saddened, and somewhat relieved.

Now he knows the reason why they do what they do. It was only his perception that made it appear that the butterfly was having a hard time. Well from then on the old man knew that loving something sometimes means to pray for it and cheer it on!

He realized that God was wonderful, and that sometimes appearances aren't what they seem to be. That we all are beautiful butterflies, even though we have our apparent struggles in life...

Teaching, Learning, and Technology Quotations

The Rose Within

A man planted a rose and watered it faithfully and before it blossomed, he examined it.
He saw the bud that would soon blossom, but noticed thorns upon the stem and he thought, "How can any beautiful flower come from a plant burdened with so many sharp thorns? Saddened by this thought, he neglected to water the rose, and just before it was ready to bloom... it died.

So it is with many people. Within every soul there is a rose. The God-like qualities planted in us at birth, grow amid the thorns of our faults. Many of us look at ourselves and see only the thorns, the defects.

We despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly come from us. We neglect to water the good within us, and eventually it dies. We never realize our potential.

Some people do not see the rose within themselves; someone else must show it to them. One of the greatest gifts a person can possess is to be able to reach past the thorns of another, and find the rose within them.

This is one of the characteristic of love... To look at a person, know their true faults and accepting that person into your life... All the while recognizing the nobility in their soul. Help others to realize they can overcome their faults. If we show them the "rose" within themselves, they will conquer their thorns. Only then will they blossom many times over.

(Author Unknown)

RAINBOW

Sky in blue, earth in green, dyes of all shades.
Rainbows in all directions across the horizon,
Touched by all these dazzling colors, humankind.

Angels look on them with praise.
Their faces to the ground, their hearts God’s abode,
A heavenly invitation is their belief.

Humankind is an exalted ore made of dust and mud,
An incomparable mirror deep and brilliant,
Reflecting the infinite, facing the beyond.

Strive, and you can attain your essence!
Be one with your soul, boil with your spirit!
Wail a bit more, shedding tears.

Sprout slowly like a bud,
Follow the light until you are there,
Roots in the soil, eyes fixed on the light.

This mysterious struggle broke out in the heavens
And will go on until Doomsday.
Never stop! Stretch and run, for victory is on the horizon!..
(Unknown)

CRITICAL THINKING

What is the critical thinking?
Critical thinking is the intellectually disciplined process of actively and skillfully conceptualizing, applying, analyzing, synthesizing, and/or evaluating information gathered from, or generated by, observation, experience, reflection, reasoning, or communication, as a guide to belief and action.

Critical thinking consists of mental processes of discernment, analysis and evaluation. It includes all possible processes of reflecting upon a tangible or intangible item in order to form a solid judgment that reconciles scientific evidence with common sense. In contemporary usage "critical" has a certain negative connotation that does not apply in the present case; the term "analytical thinking" may more accurately convey the idea.

Critical thinking has its basis in intellectual criteria that go beyond subject-matter divisions and which include: clarity, credibility, accuracy, precision, relevance, depth, breadth, logic, significance and fairness.

What are the uses of critical thinking?
Critical thinking is useful only in those situations where human beings need to solve problems, make decisions, or decide in a reasonable and reflective way what to believe or what to do. That is, just about everywhere and all the time.

Critical thinking is important wherever the quality of human thinking significantly impacts the quality of life.

www.criticalthinking.org
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Critical_thinking

Words of Advice from Bill Gates

Life is wonderful, but it is also challenging at times. The following advice comes from one of the most successful businessman in history, Bill Gates. He recently told a group of high schoolers about 11 things they did not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a full generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world. I want all of you to be very successful, so consider some of his words:

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it.

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone, until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

--There may be virtual reality, but there is no such thing as virtual happiness--

[Quote from www.eslmonkeys.com/]

Love And Time

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love…

Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment. When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?" Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked, "Sadness, let me go with you. "Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, Love, I will take you." It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going.

When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder.Love asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who Helped me?" It was Time," Knowledge answered. "Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?"Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered,

"Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is..." (Quote)

FREEDOM...

All I want is freedom
Is that too much to ask...
All I want is freedom
To forget everything in my past...
All I want is freedom
To take away all the tears and the pain...
All I want is freedom
To never feel that way again...
All I want is freedom
To love you my own way...

All I want is freedom
To make all my fears go away...
All I want is freedom
To say “I love you”...
All I want is freedom
To hear you say “I love you too” ...

Christal Carpenter

Some Quotes on Life...

"The past cannot be changed, the future is still in your power. "

- Hugh White -

"You are never given a wish without being given the power to make it come true."

- From the book "Bridge Across Forever" -(by Richard Bach)

"Don't let today's disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow's dreams."

- Author Unknown -

"The only place where dreams are impossible is in your own mind."

- Emalie -

"As you travel through life, your dreams will guide you, determination will get you there, and love will provide the greatest scenery of all."

- Michelle C. Ustaszeski -

"If you want to get to the top in life, you are going to have to take the stairs."

- Michelle C. Ustaszeski -

"Do not wait for your ship to come in, get in your boat and row out."

- Michelle C. Ustaszeski -

The Best Pictures of 2007(by UNICEF)

In Checenistan, children are trying to return to their normal lives after the war...

In Bangladesh, children consist of the 22% of the working people. In this picture, little workers are carrying packages...

This Philippino girl is celebrating her 9th birthday and she's very happy despite all the poverty and squalidity...